MONEY CONVERSATIONS THAT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER SHOULD HAVE.
Money conversations between couples are difficult. Explaining every detail of how you spend your money to someone else hardly makes sense. Having these conversations though helps better most relationships.
When looking for a partner, physical to emotional preferences seem to take centre stage while financial preferences are over-summarized by first impressions.
Most people want a rich partner, which is good. The problem is we really do not understand what level of rich we want our partners to be. And a rich partner is not necessarily a financially fit partner.
Riches could be from accrued debt that will affect your future. When choosing our partners, it is important to also understand their relationship with money. Most people overlook the bad spending habits, bad debt, or laziness thinking that this is temporary and that their partners will change once they get married.
In reality, these are red flags that point towards financial incompatibility.
Money conversations you should comfortably have with your partner.
Your partner’s relationship with money directly affects you. If you are going to live together you need to address;
1. Their relationship with money
What is your partner’s relationship with money? Are they money avoiders or money worshippers? Do they believe in taking reasonable risks to better their financial lives?
Your partner does not have to have the same financial standing as you. They can be different but responsible.
For example Tuko.ke published a story about a Kenyan lady who was left in debt after her boyfriend asked her to take a Ksh 3.5m loan for him. It started with the partner posing as an intelligent young man who promised her the unattainable.
The lady in question (Renee) said the 2 started dating and they would spend nights at each other’s apartments and within 3 months, her partner was planning to fly her to Cyprus to study a master’s course. 5 months into the relationship, her partner started borrowing a lot of money from her.
From Kshs. 130k to 2 million. Cumulatively, she gave him 3.5 million. The man conned her then left her.
If they would have had very honest conversations around money, chances are Renee would have recognized the kind of person she was dating.
A partner who consistently borrows money but hardly refunds is a financial burden.
2. What is their money goal?
The same way people ask about how many children their partners want to have is the same energy we should give to our finances.
What are their long-term plans? Are they putting any work towards achieving these goals?
Do they have stable sources of income?
In 5 years’ time, what would they want to achieve by themselves?
3. What are their financial expectations from you?
Many conflicts arise from a lack of communication. We expect people to reciprocate favours without having an active conversation around them. Communicating about;
- Bill sharing; who is handling what bill and how they will handle it. Putting in mind what they earn.
- Joint account; do you prefer having an account where both of you contribute towards investments?
- Money language; would you love financial support from them and in what form?
If you can have an honest conversation around this, you will have a financially stable marriage.
